this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
