He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
