Have you finally orgasmed yet?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
