R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize