i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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