Need sex. Gaining weight.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
