okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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