He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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