i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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