Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
