Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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