Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
