i just had sex bonerless
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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