): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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