..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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