I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize