do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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