so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
