Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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