I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
