I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
