is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
