Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
