what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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