I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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