My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
