god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
