Sry I called you an 8
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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