I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
