I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
