I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
