found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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