I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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