I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Where did you get a picture of my penis
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
