god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
is wine microwaveable?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
