I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
