what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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