I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
