Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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