I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Im just a social blackout drinker.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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