Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
only if we run a train.
done.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
