xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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