I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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