If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
