sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
