Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
