marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
