Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
