Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
