the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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