Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
