so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I don't deserve a penis
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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