shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
