Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
