You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
