I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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