he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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