in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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