Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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