I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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