His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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