Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Plan B is the new Plan A
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
try to milk me bitch
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
