I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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