you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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