Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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