I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize