no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
