but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
