Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
