just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
